Take a bow!

An Untimely death.... as if death is ever timely.

All of 25. Achieved more than what most of us do in 25 summers. Ace archery coach Lenin dies in an accident as he swerves his SUV to avoid an autorickshaw. The vehicle topples, killing him instantly, while 3 others escape unhurt. God’s personal joke, I suppose. He leaves behind an even-younger wife.

And it’s not the first tragedy in the family. His sister Volga died when she was 11 and in her memory the family has set up an archery training centre. The same centre which produced 3 CWG medallists for India.

Lenin started young. He began to win medals as an 11-year-old boy. Topped several national and
Asian competitions and took to coaching to pass on the bow and arrow legacy.

No, I do not know the family personally. But, I do not get the life and death game. A coach who made a difference to the poor in Vijayawada. A coach who was a part of the institution for the love of the game rather than for the returns. A coach without airs. His death leaves many archers bereft of an excellent trainer within their reach.

Instead of letting such people live, the Reddy brothers, the Gowdas and the Laloos are let to thrive and multiply like rabbits.

Isn’t God a saddist or what?

Sometimes I wonder, If I were to die now what my accomplishments would be. Zilch! And none to say a good word either.

Everything's in a name

What’s in a name, one might think! Sadly everything’s in a name.

What’s it with Hyderabad and the rest of India to christen everything after Rajiv and Indira and sometimes after her father too. How many of Indira structures are we going to have, much more than Rajiv, I suppose. It might be their personal joke in hell (They just couldn’t have gone to heaven, such narcissists and demons they were) to see who gets one up, mother or son. Poor father, he is not even in the picture. To digress, he gave them their surname that they hang on to. Everything has to be named after these two nuts. The Lalita Kala Thoranam in the city is going to be re-christened as (Yes, you are right!) Rajiv Lalita Kala Thoranam. Incredible! What has this man done for kala? Even Sarojini Naidu couldn’t have convinced me.

We have a Rajiv Gandhi International airport in the state and I wonder where else. Aren’t there anyone else worthy enough? Please not YSR... another conman. Maybe the Nizams, after all they gave Hyderabad its famous biriyani (No, it’s not as great they make it out to be). If not the Nizams, what about the kings or the scientists or academicians or artistes. Aren’t there enough people to choose from? I can name a few — Sarojini Naidu, S. Radhakrishnan, Kancha Illiah, Fawad Tamakanat, SPB (yes, he is a Telugu fellow). Each one good in his or her field. Why not them?

What is with the Nehru clan and their names? It doesn’t even sound exotic enough to replicate it everywhere. How can one forget Indira is the reason for the bleakest portion of Indian history — the emergency, the Sikh riots, press blackout and god knows what else. Her son Rajiv is not far behind. Bofors — has one forgotten this. I suppose so! With Congress in power, they make sure it’s conveniently forgotten. The rapes in Sri Lanka when the Indian Army was there ‘helping’ was during Rajiv’s time. Wouldn’t you want to murder the man who molested your child? But no!! When it’s the Nehru clan, everyone else is wrong. I’m not sure it has happened, but I can’t be sure it didn’t happen either. LTTE must have had a reason then at least.

We say we are a democracy, then how is it that Rajiv becomes the PM after his mom’s death and not my father? Isn’t this monarchy wrapped and dolled up as democracy and served to us in a shop? Rajiv, who had no experience in politics. Rajiv, who was a techie when the rest of us didn’t have a computer. Rajiv, who just wanted a quiet life with his Italian doll. What was so visionary about him?

Charisma, I suppose got them this far and will get them on more name boards I suppose. I plead for my sake and everyone’s sake, give credit to the real architects who shaped the thoughts, the skyline and the palate of the city. Give them their due when they are alive. After I’m dead, I don’t care. Neither does Indira or Rajiv. If you insist on crowing the dead, there are more choices, I assure you than the mother-son duo.

Hamlet's curse

To do or not to do? The eternal question and to find it out is not even half way close to easy. I don’t know... There are signs all over not wanting me to go travelling there is just one sign saying maybe you should. What do I do.. I don’t have much money.. everyone I ask no one seems to want to come with me.. and I’m really fed up of doing everything alone...

It began with Goa, then Singapore and Malaysia, then Nepal, Shillong... nothing ever came out of anything.. Goa — Bindu doesn’t seem interested, Singapore & Malaysia — Neither Vivek nor Jyothi could accommodate me .. Both said "parents are there"... left me totally disappointed. Then came along Sajeev with Nepal, but then his roomy said No to girls tagging along and when N&S asked me to go with them to Shillong, I figured the ticket rates were too high for me. In between all this got myself registered on to CouchSurfing, hoping for Brazil.... few responded.. few didn’t.. but that is way too far for me and needs so much planning which I can’t or rather not good at doing it alone.. Tried travellingsisters, but realised a detailed, planned-to-the-T trip wasn’t my cup of hot chocolate either.

In between all this tucked away was Sri Lanka. Rithika said she was interested but then came along the silence...

A sentence I read a few days ago got me thinking — If all you ever did was all you’ll do, then all you’ll ever do is all you ever did. Inspired, I mailed this acquaintance I know in Sri Lanka... and he was more than overjoyed to welcome me over to his country... Karthik said he would even help me plan the itinerary... beginning from the budget... A welcome surprise it was.

Then the questions came along... My parents won’t like it. They will ask a lot of questions. One more reason they will have to fight me out now.

In times like these I wish I had a sounding board or at least I wish God would answer. Someone who thinks I can pull it off? Faith, I lack. Trust, I misplaced.

Somewhere, deep inside, I almost wished he would say No. Because I’m scared of doing it alone. Because I’m really scared of not being able to pull it.

Should I take a chance, a leap of faith in myself.

Dream On.....

Sometimes there is this urging need for someone you can call just your own, someone who even at the ghost hour you can call and weep, someone who is willing to come over to console you, take you for a drive because you have hit that rock-bottom of despair and 'coz you matter.

Yesterday, I felt the need for someone to just hug me after a reeling day at work.... It's like there is an emotional vacuum there 'coz friends are few and far...

I wish this vacuum too comes to pass as I too have a dream to live, a dream to share and especially a dream of laughters....

Promises....

I hope to save as much as I can to quench my wanderlust thirst...

I hope to make new friends along the way to form my circle of trust

I want a new job that makes me happy and not grumpy and irritable

I need to write more, it kicks in the paradise i want to float in

Random notes..

Life is such a biaaaaaaaaaaaaatch.. and the I am most happy being the biaaaaaaatch.. I wonder why??

sometimes it feels do good just to bitch about and gossip about others.. though I wouldn't want my friends to do that about me.. :) Weird!!!

I'd rather they told me about it.. so that I can give my reasons for behaving sooo.. :)

Sometimes I think people just don't understand me.. I say something and they take off on ta different tangent.. makes me wonder how the human thought process works..

I feel.. there are two sides to me.. both of which have to me unlocked liked a series of doors.. sometimes you get in through the pretty door and sometimes through the devil's door.
But, if you strive you'll see the good.. Not enough in me to let people in so easily..

But why do I make it difficult to let people see me? Is it coz I'm afraid of getting hurt if I let them in too close? Or is it coz Iwant to be sure of whom I'm letting in???

Why can't we just be... open and warm... full of live and romance in our every move..

Maybe I'll sww how much of that I can live up to.. a Mt. Everest of a task..

Being single....

O.K. I hate couples... I hate that they are into each other all the time. I hate the romance-is-in-the-air bit. I hate that they have each other on holidays and that they don’t have to count on the not-so-reliable friends. In short I miss companionship. Makes me miss the times I had a boyfriend, a schmuck. I knew I had someone who would still come and meet me... spend time with me talking about nothing but something, take me out on a drive and spend more time squabbling.. :)

Life is not so rosy when you are single. Everyone who is in a relationship complains, but that’s just so that people don’t get jealous of their happiness. Or so I feel. Ask them if they’d prefer being single to being in a relationship, they’d probably tell you being single is better. But, secretly I’m sure they’d wish otherwise. Who would want to spend two days alone? Who would want to do daily mundane things alone? Who would want to travel alone? When the presence of someone else can pepper your day with ups and downs. Who would not want to be someone’s muse?

but, does it have its benefits... sometimes aye..

I have always wanted my circle of friends.. but sadly I have never had that. Maybe it’s the mean streak or the selfishness in me that people don’t like. Or maybe I don’t trust people enough to let them close to even peep through.

Life is where you hope to be the main actor but you don’t even end up with the side roles.

Sometimes I keep waiting for life to begin, not realising I'm living it...

Up in the Air

Finally...... this is up and maybe running ...
have wanted to do this for a very long time.. but never got around to doing it.. and this time the push came from Sunil.. Thank you..

He chewed on my brain for a very long time and i told him id get this running.. and I have Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!