Where do I belong? Where do i root myself.. In a transitional world. I can call no place home. Home is far and too disjointed to say I want to return. Kerala is where others would say is my home.. but I can't.
Sure, I do like the tippler's paradise, but it is not a reflection of me. It has no warmth that beckons one home, neither does it have the gentle whisper lulling me into a smooth slumber. Too noisy, too interfering, too moralistic and too ancient for my liking. Ancient not even in a gratifying and delectable way like Calcutta. After all, I have lived in Kerala only 5 years and the occasional visits home won't even add up to 6 months.
Bangalore has no soul and could not keep me there for more than 2.5 years. After which I felt the stirrings to run away. It had just become another cookie cutter metro that made be gasp for breath every living day.
Then came along Hyderabad. It is too much of a feudalistic state to even stick around. A place where gang fights rule and corruption and seeped into its very bone marrow. A place that boasts more than it ever delivers and makes u feel creepy all over. My heart just couldn't find its life line here.
Everywhere I go I seek the soul that will tempt me to stay, nurture it and make it my home, cultivate friendships, lifelong ones. Not the sort that u keep just to while away time. I don't feel at home any where. Is it because I don't have friendships and people that make me stay? Will I always be a wanderer in search of my hot spring? Can any place be a reflection of at least few things me?
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